Busy + Naruto

been busy busy busy, not too much time for deep thoughts. However one thing there is always time for is NARUTO! the last page of the latest chapter had me literally dancing around in front of my computer. All these years have come down to this moment.

one of the coolest pages ever.

Stop and Think

Its hard to blog when im in work mode. I work for a roofing company, which means around 50 hours of super hard physical labor a week. Even when im off for the day, im so sore tired and shot i might as well be sleeping. This week is one of those weeks, and im forcing this blog out of me, trust me. Point being, i find myself not thinking nearly as much when im super busy.

Im reading the book "Xenocide," part of the Ender series, and it mentions how humans can never be as wise as Fathertrees (a sort of alien tree thing) because the Fathertrees just sit and think all day and watch the world around them, while humans are too busy to just stop and juggle ideas around in their head long enough to be sure of anything. The bible also says "Be still and know that i am God," meaning stop and just think every now and then.

So the simple conclusion i have come to, is super busy people will always be dumber than those who take things slow, not rush through life, and leave time to think. Todays culture holds the busy money tycoons much higher than the simple life thinking men, but as only thinking men will ever know, the truth is quite the opposite.

I will never be like my boss, i will never work so hard it becomes my life, i will never de-value the time i can just sit alone and think. I will always value wisdom over money, and i will die much more satisfied with this life.

Little things

Whenever i post something serious on here it never tends to be too happy. This isnt because im a super sad person, if you know me, you know that. It just feels good to write about stuff that bothers me, to empty my head out now and then. This blog happens to be where i usually do that, as im not really the type of guy to pour my heart out in person. That would just make me annoying. Point being, this time whats in my head isnt the flaws of life, but the opposite. I was just thinking of how great the "little things" are.

I know thats no revelation to anyone, but its so true. I dont know what i would do without my little obsessions. I call them obsessions because thats pretty much what they are to me. I am an obsessive person, not in the sense that im overbearing (i hope) and crazy, but when i get into something, i REALLY get into it. Whether it be a song or band i find, an anime, a movie, a game, or anything like that... there are some that you cant get me to shut up about. If you get me around a fellow manga/anime person, i could just babble on forever about it, because i LOVE it. It sounds so trivial, but its really not. Its all i have, the things that make me tick. The things that define me, that transform me.

I may hear a lyric in a song or poem, and change my very character to fit some amazing idea it had. I may just one day see Kanye West and think "i like how he dresses," then go out and spend $250 on crazy clothes nobody else would wear. I may play Eternal Sonata, and decide im going to start listening to classical music. I may watch episode 14 of Samurai Champloo, and then watch it 10 more times in the same sitting.

For some reason these are the things that make me excited about life. These are the things i cant wait for.

I guess when i say "little things" it can mean a couple things. Most people think of experiences they have with people or something. I wasnt really talking about that, though those are great too. Im talking about the stuff we talk with our friends about. The subject matter of our conversations. The things that link us together.

For such a dark place as this, there sure are a bunch of cool things here.

woot!

ive been waiting for this movie for a year and a half!

Avatar:The Last Airbender

of course the movie "avatar" stole the name of the anime, so its just "the last airbender"

aaagh i cant wait.

there is hope for hip hop

now if only kid cudi and lupe were in there too...

State of Mind

I was pondering my state of life while driving to in-and-out burger today. Not as much in a super deep way, more of a literal way. I'm 22 and just kind of floating along. I have plans yea, hopefully SJSU in the fall, see what happens from there, but thats about as far as they go. Old people tell me I need to work harder, be "aggressive." Its nothing new, but I seriously dont mesh well with the "wisdom" of today. I lack any shred of motivation in the world our forefathers have created.

I am 100% confident that if i shifted into "succeed" mode i could be extremely successful financially in this life. I have no doubt im smart enough and capable enough to play the system. The problem is, i have little desire to waste my life on those things. Some would call me lazy, or irresponsible, but who came up with these requirements of life? When did life turn into something so petty? Politics, government, the education system, pretty much every "system" society has put in store, makes me ill. Its lifeless, boring, pointless, stupid. Love is a distorted concept now. People obsess over progress, but has technology replaced community? Thats how it feels to me. People try to pull me in with them, and its near impossible not to conform to some degree unless you wanna starve to death. It sucks. Im not trying to start a pity party, but seriously... step back and look at what this world has become. It doesnt take a hippie or extremist to see the gaping holes culture has bore.

So what can I do about it? How can i change the world? How can i live apart from this insanity? No answer.
I think weve dug ourselves too deep in this hole to get out at this point. I hate the fact that when i think about my future it consists of some kind of equation i have to solve in order to make x amount of money. Thats what America has become. Money. Pull yourselves up by your bootstraps people, its survival of the mindless.

My dreams have no place here.