I was not born to collect shopping carts

So i got a PART TIME MINIMUM WAGE job at Vons. This is just to hold me over until i get something better, but still. I mean, im 21. While Mr. Economy is slacking off and sticking head up the ass of hopelessness, Im stuck with a job thats meant for 14 year olds piggy banks. ugh. I have dreamt many a time about being born in a different era. I mean i love technology, and yea were all equal nowadays and whatnot, but UGH UGH UGH. thats right, 3 fully capitalized ughs. I mean, im white, i could survive in the old world. Of course im also Irish and protestant.... known for indentured servitude, starving to death, and burning at the stake.... but WHATEVER you know? I would be an awesome swordsman, known throughout the lands, so nobody could touch me. None of this fingerprint satellite crap could touch me. Heck, i could even be a pirate. Pirates were equal with each other, i dont gotta worry about unfortunate heritage on the ol open ocean. Fernando, Jamar, and Ol Thomas could all live happily together as we pillage town and sink government ships. Ok its settled, in order to insure i wouldnt be caught in the racism / classism (?) of the olden days, i will become a world renowned sword master pirate. done deal.

Oh how wonderful it would be to not have to scour Craigslist for retail jobs, no, i would instead scour maps for small islands we could take over. Heck, we could even be nice pirates, who just go steal from asshats like the English. But no. Instead i was born into the world and quickly handed a social security number. I also found out the hard way that bringing my knife collection to school is a bad idea (actually i didnt get caught, but i did do this often). Yes, i was born into a world without hero's (with the small exception of that Jesus guy, but hes sort of on a different level). So right now, at the age of 21, i would be in my prime. I would wear awesome pirate bandannas, have an awesome long pirate gotee, and sport some hecka intimidating ninja-like doubloons. People would know me wherever i went, and i wouldnt fear death in the least, because i was brought up in the pirate world from a young age. No worries, just the open ocean and my Katana... or maybe double sabers... either way. But again.... this is not so. I am 21, and in my prime... bagging groceries, paying taxes, and the only hope of a fighting lifestyle is the military, which is hardly desirable being a pawn of politics. Pirates are mostly sailing the cyber seas, which i suppose i am, but its hardly a death defying life. All the sheep of the world walk around in their little meaningless lives pretending to make a difference. BLEEEHHHGH!

maybe a little melodramatic. maybe. But you get the picture. So this goes through my head once every.... i dunno.... MINUTE. Im sure im not alone. While little girls dream of becoming princesses and being loved, little boys dream of killing their enemies. "Thats not God-like!!!" right?? Well Davids life was pretty damn awesome if you ask me!!! Oh God, give me the armies of evil to vanquish.... Ill take them out with my double sabers! Obviously i dont dream of becoming a murderer, there are plenty of people who are killable, come on. Yea yea i know i sound horrible, but if youre a guy, and the world hasnt sucked the last bit of testosterone out of you then you know EXACTLY what i mean.

So it sounds like i have a horrible life. Well, i dont. I have a great life.... but theres just that OTHER life that i will always dream of. I always try and end my thoughts with, "well heaven is supposed to be better than the human mind can imagine right? whew..." so yea. But my life is good, especially just moving to the big SD. Its different, and theres some people i definitely wish i could drag down here with me... but hey, its something new. I go on little adventures here and there, swimming up sketchy looking dark caves in uninhabited places, gathering the crew up for jungle hikes every time a storm comes in... but although their fun, im not really DOING anything. Bah, still i guess its something eh?

Well i train for Cart-boy job tomorrow... thats why this is again going through my head. It doesnt help that im constantly watching these adventurous violent anime series all the time. Im crossing my fingers for some kind of Alien invasion or Zombie outbreak soon. This would be good. Only good can come from such things. Itll probably happen, ill just wait.



a sad, mere shell of what was once great. modern day non-digital pirates seem to be more like bards, or hobbits, then daring sword fighting treasure hunting sailors.